You are absolutely right: phenotype matters little when one moves around with his own people. So a very dark Iranian will still be very accepted in Iran.

But the problem here is the urge of many Iranians/Indics/Asians to feel *accepted* in western society. We fear that our looks will determine what opinion people have about us. We want to look "white" because it is the white (European) race that has advanced in every way: be it science, technology, engineering, arts, etc.

Had Asians (Iranians, Indics etc.) or indeed Africans achieved a similar level of development, and had the white race remained backward, we should have seen all Asians (and possibly Eurpoeans!) trying to get as dark as possible.

It's all about our human desire to feel wanted: our desire to live with dignity: we want people to respect our race and culture. And we feel that we can achieve all of this by looking like Europeans.--Like our friend who was so proud of his "red hair". He did not boast about the great Iranian civilization; instead, he reckoned he will be respected if people associated him with the European race.