yeah, I think u need help. am sorry that U are suffering.

But hey dont u know the difference between christianity as in the cross missused, and christ, or did u see christ as evil too? And FYI the bible wasnt written 2000 years ago, lol, the OT is written long before obviously, during many thousand years.. But sure they messed things up in there too, trough adding reducing translating and missinterpreting. Thats why I say seek Jah first, and He will guide, and dont stear urself blind at wat ppl do, that is bias.